“Mum shaming” refers to the practice of criticizing or judging a mother’s parenting choices or behaviors. There are many different types of mum shaming, some of which include:

1. Breastfeeding shaming: Criticising a mother for breastfeeding in public or for not breastfeeding at all.

2. Bottle feeding shaming: Criticising a mother for bottle-feeding her baby instead of breastfeeding.

3. Co-sleeping shaming: Criticising a mother for co-sleeping with her baby. 4. Working mother shaming: Criticising a mother for working outside the home instead of staying at home with her children.

5. Stay-at-home mother shaming: Criticising a mother for staying at home with her children instead of working outside the home.

6. Helicopter parenting shaming: Criticising a mother for being too overprotective of her children.

7. Free-range parenting shaming: Criticising a mother for being too lax in her parenting style.

These are just a few.

Remember!

Every mother has her own unique set of circumstances, challenges, and decisions to make when it comes to raising her children. It’s important to recognise that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting, and what works for one family may not work for another.

Mom shaming can take many forms, from criticizing a mother’s choice to breastfeed or formula-feed her baby, to judging her for working outside the home or staying at home with her children. This kind of criticism can be hurtful and damaging, and it often comes from a place of ignorance or misunderstanding.

Instead of judging or shaming other mothers, we should strive to support and empower them. We can do this by listening to their experiences, offering helpful advice when asked, and refraining from making negative comments or assumptions about their parenting choices. By working together, we can create a more supportive and inclusive community for all mothers. You have a choice

Postnatal Anxiety and depression

An informative chat with Linee Van Der Weer from Mamas In Mind. How to recognise the signs of postnatal depression or anxiety. How can you feel more empowered to seek help that suits your needs. Is medication the answer plus simple tools to help you prevent or management your feelings when you become a new mum. if you feel you are showing signs of anxiety or depression please find the courage to seek help from either myself or Linee or someone you feel safe to talk too.

Oh how underestimating those first 3-4 days are.

I can still vividly remember when I was feeling so underwhelmed, lonely and depressed on day 3 after my first baby was born.

Mental Health or Illness

Not defined by religion, culture, age or any other sociology.

So how do we as a society help our friends, family, work colleagues or the wider community deal with depression and anxiety.

Medication is often the first port of call, that has been my experience, and it certainly has its place.

Natural remedies such as essential oils, herbal potions and vitamins and minerals can also help create more equilibrium within our systems both for mind and body.

Exercise is definitely at the top of the list. Getting at least 30-60 min a day whether it’s walking, cycling, running, weight training or other activities that increase the heart rate.

Mindfulness or meditation to help rest our thoughts and redirect them.

Well balanced diet rich in veggies and fruit and optimal hydration to help maintain a healthy body plus including protein which is the building blocks for all our cells.

But by far most important change and often the tell tale signs of anxiety or depression is not having a goal to work towards. You’ve given up. You can’t see the wood for the trees and anything beyond how you are feeling feels non existent.

Lack of sleep not only is a precursor to depression but will deepen the struggles and is one of the signs that medication is necessary to supplement other remedies.

So here is when it gets interesting, especially for me.

A New Mum
A New Baby

No Sleep
No Routine

Juggling a new role

No Experience
No training

Your are on your own

It is well documented that sleep and routine to help fight depression are one of the biggest steps you can take to help you.

Goal setting on a daily basis.
Routine to help you manage your day.
Knowing that what works for you is going to make you happy.
Positive mindset.
Gratitude.

BUT WHEN YOU ARE A MUM

These two don’t seem to apply!!!!

SLEEP AND ROUTINE

Routine- helps you get back on track, you know what’s ahead and you can plan, your body thrives on routines and your mind will follow. Routine creates awareness, makes us more efficient, saves time, instils good habit, plus a biggie for mums – builds confidence.

Sleep-helps with anxiety, rests the mind, helps reduce stress, improves memory, lowers blood pressure, helps you maintain a healthy weight and improves your mood. Plus so much more.

Yet for new parents – this is far from reality.

A BIG FAT WHY???????

Mums are told to cope

Mums are told it will pass

Mums are being judged

Mums are not supported as individuals

By WHOM?

Professionals, guidelines and recommendations but most of all

OTHER MUMS ??

I urge you when a parent has gained courage to ask for help, ask for an alternative with something that isn’t working for them and especially asking about having no sleep, a baby not sleeping or any other challenges that can make a mum feel anxious and depressed.

That there is help out there and that there is another way.

The worst advice you can give is

You will be OK
It’s normal
It will pass

You don’t know how and what this person is feeling, you don’t know what is going on in their life and just because
YOU HAVE COPED DOESN’T MEAN THEY WILL OR THAT THEY HAVE NO ALTERNATIVE.

To turn anxiety and depression around is helping change what isn’t working.

Medication can play a part in that change but ultimately the mindset and ways of life also need to change to help them journey into the right direction.

It’s been on my mind for years.

Do I or don’t I

What will people say?