Your baby is nearly here and as new mum, it’s important to take care of yourself during the postpartum period. Here are some tips to help you create a postpartum plan:

Rest and Recovery:

After giving birth, your body needs time to heal. Make sure to get plenty of rest, eat well, and stay hydrated. Ask for help from family and friends to take care of household chores or other responsibilities. Cooking meals, baking, household chores and cleaning will all help.

Emotional Support:

The postpartum period can be emotionally challenging. Surround yourself with a supportive network of friends and family. Reach out to a postpartum doula or mental health professional if you need extra support. Feeling overwhelmed, anxious and second guessing yourself are all common. Make sure you ask for help.

Breastfeeding Support:

If you plan to breastfeed, seek out support from a lactation consultant or breastfeeding support group to help you with any challenges. Breastfeeding is natural but it’s not easy. You need support and guidance to help enjoy and have a successful breastfeeding journey. If you choose to bottle feed, that’s ok too. You need to do what is best for you. The New Mum eBook will help you.

Exercise:

Once you’re cleared by your healthcare provider, start incorporating gentle exercise into your routine to help your body recover. Engaging with an exercise professional or physiotherapist is a good idea.

Baby Care:

Plan for baby care by stocking up on essentials such as diapers, wipes, newborn clothing, burp cloths, feeding equipment and sleep attire such as swaddles. Consider hiring a postpartum doula, a newborn care provider to help with baby care so you can get some rest. The Newborn Guide will help you with all newborn care in those early weeks.

Remember, every postpartum experience is unique.

Be flexible and adjust your plan as needed.

Congratulations again and take care of yourself!

You become a mum in an instant. It’s exciting and a little scary at the same time. The first few days and weeks are about getting to know your baby. Lots of bonding, learning to feed, bathe and settle your baby among all other new beginnings. 

But we can also start to feel alone and become so entrenched in this new journey that we start to not look after ourselves.

Here are some questions you might want to think about. 

Are you giving yourself the love and respect you deserve? 

Are you trusting your judgement?

Are you spending time doing what you love?

If you’re struggling with this, like many mums are, it’s time to take some action.

You may be feeling overwhelmed and emotional. You might not trust what your doing is right. You are feeling judged by other people’s standards and taking on advice that doesn’t fit your parenting style. 

It’s hard to put ourselves first but it’s a necessity. It’s part of a mum’s survival mode. 

Parenting doesn’t come with a university degree. Sometimes it feels like you’ve been thrown in the deep end without prior knowledge or experience. 

So how can we expect to know everything, give up who we are and be the wonder woman we might expect to be. 

We can’t and we shouldn’t.

 The first few months can be particularly hard. It’s often not until our little ones are a little older that we start to think about ourselves. Thinking of going back to work, getting back to the gym or even starting a little business on the side. Even just simple things like going out for a coffee with friends can be daunting. 

 Remember the person before she became a mum?  

Deep down, she is still there. It’s just with all the chaos and our sleep-deprived state of mind we have forgotten. 

For me, I have been passionately interested in this topic for a very long time. To realize there was more to me than being an at-home mum has taken me years. It’s only been over the last 5-6 years that I have had the confidence to venture out into new territory and rediscover my calling.

I have always been in the business of helping new mums with babies right through to ages 5 while nursing in the areas of Obstetrics, Pediatrics and as a Royal New Zealand Plunket Nurse, before starting my own family.

Now 20+ years on, with more determination than ever, I see the importance of giving mums the knowledge and support to thrive. To listen to their intuition. To permit themselves to be number one.   

The road to finding this truth even for myself hasn’t been an easy one.

I had to overcome many hurdles to reach a point in my life when I knew I needed the balance and needed something for me so I could give back to my family with more confidence and energy but also myself. 

Today many mums need to head back to work much earlier than before. Our lives are much busier, more stressful, and the financial strain is all too real for the majority of families, which means going back to work is not just an option but also a necessity.

Often there is no family around to lean on, a lot of couples these days have moved countries and so are worlds apart from their support systems. Friends with babies are back at work or you are the very first to start a family.

To top that off with expectations to conform to a parenting style, or to feel pressured into feeding your baby a certain way. Where to sleep your baby, and the many do’s and don’ts of parenting while feeling sleep deprived will pretty much send any mum into a frenzy of emotions. Technology has even taken over common sense.  

It’s no wonder we see more cases of postpartum distress than ever before. Mums are feeling more guilt, judging themselves too harshly about their parenting styles, and not looking within themselves for their knowledge and strength to make their own decisions. 

There is no one way to parent but guidelines and recommendations suggest there is. 

 This is why so many are mums are feeling overwhelmed, second-guessing themselves and not trusting their mummy instincts. 

So here is my advice to you.

You need to look after you first. 

• You are just as important as your baby.
• Believe in your strengths. 
• Believe in your decisions. 
• Stand your ground.
• Feel empowered with the choices you have made.
• Stop feeling guilty and step up and make yourself count.
• Whatever life decisions you make, they’re yours and your family’s and for no one else to judge.

Nurturing, trusting and believing in yourself will ultimately make parenting much simpler and more enjoyable.

So here are some simple steps for you to follow. 

1. Ask for help
2. Take time out (even if it’s just for a coffee)
3. Trust and allow your partner to take care of your baby (so you can confidently go out)
4. Delegate household chores
5. Keep in touch with friends without children (it’s important to have a balance of baby and adult talk)
6. Keep up with fitness or start fitness classes
7. Dress up rather than dress down
8. Take the advice that you will benefit from
9. Love yourself
10. Most of all believe

Congratulations! You’re expecting. You’re either jumping up and down with joy or you’re truly freaking out.

Whether it’s planned or accidental, your first or adding siblings to the tribe, the news of adding a little one in the mix comes with decision making and planning.

If it’s your first there are many avenues that either will need to be changed or redirected to make room for this extra little person in your lives.

Some renovate, move house or even move countries.

Decisions about careers, finances, interior design and other changes are to be planned so that you can be prepared for this amazing life changing event.

Most of us probably found out that we were pregnant under the 8-10 week mark, which gives us plenty of time to decide on how and when the changes are made.

One of your first decisions is usually finding your primary caregiver. Whether it’s going to be an obstetrician, a midwife or both is totally up to you.

In New Zealand all options are left up to the individual unless for medical reasons you need to have a doctor included in your care.

As your pregnancy progresses and your bump is getting bigger,  you are truly well on your way to becoming a mum.

Antenatal classes are great. They will give you knowledge about what to expect around your labour, pain relief, birth, breastfeeding, hopefully bottle feeding too, and skim over info for the first few days postpartum.

From here on in, some of you will be discussing a plan.

Yep, a Birth Plan. I would rather call it either a Birth Intention or Birth Proposal.

Now a plan can be described as a goal, target or even a schedule.

So when your writing your birth plan, you may be asked what your expectations are, your goals and outcomes and even what your ideal schedule looks like upon delivering your baby.

These may include when to go to hospital or when to call your primary care giver once you’re in labour.

Decisions around what or if any pain relief you may be administered.

Birthing position.

Who is going to be there with you?

Gosh I even came across an article where it states you need to let everyone know about your birth plan, who is going to be there while you’re in labour, is your husband going to handle it, who will visit you after your baby is born?

Will you be taking photos or video?

Special music.

Special food

Even making the decision as to when doctors take over or giving them permission to perform a C Section.

When will first feeding occur?

Will your partner cut the cord and when?

How long will I stay in hospital?

Birth plans definitely have their place and can be very useful to keep you focused and calm.

However a baby will come into this world the best way it knows how, whether that is through natural means or with intervention.

You can’t predict how your baby will come into this world.

This is why birth plans need to be written with a very open mind and is only a proposal or an intention that can be changed and not adhered to.

Once you have made your plan there are expectations attached, no room for error and goals to strive for.

But these plans can go out the window and many do just that.

The disappointment is that much greater and feeling of failure is greater, which can cause anxiety and even depression.

So my advice to all mums is to write down your wishes, requests and possible outcomes and keep an open mind to whatever can happen.

The more open minded you can be the less disappointed you will be if it didn’t quite go to plan!

Remember you’re both in this together so there needs to be room for movement.

Stay confident and feel empowered to enjoy your journey ahead.

Trish Martin