Demand feeding can create challenges for mum and baby.
If you’re a new mom, you might be wondering about the best way to feed your baby. One important aspect to consider is the difference between feeding your baby on demand and practicing mindful feeding. Learning to recognise and respond to your baby’s hunger cues is crucial, as it can help you differentiate between genuine hunger and signs of colic or reflux. In addition, incorporating mindful feeding practices can offer extra benefits for both you and your baby.
Feeding a baby on demand simply means feeding your baby when they demonstrate hunger signs.
Demand feeding is often associated with the advice- Feed when baby is hungry!
Many mums interpret this saying as:
Feed when baby is sucking!
Feed when baby is crying!
Feed when baby is rooting!
Feed when baby is poking out tongue!
Feed when baby is grizzly
The challenge when feeding baby on demand when these signs are present, is that these signs are not always hunger signs.
They are also signs for tiredness, discomfort and gas.
Babies who often demand feed, may also be at higher risk of being diagnosed with colic or reflux.
Demand feeding most often leads mums to second guessing themselves. Mums may be at higher risk of sleep deprivation, anxiety and depression.
They look hungry, showing all the signs of hunger but in fact, baby is fighting at the breast and pushing themselves away and they appear not interested.
This is why I like to call it ‘mindful feeding’
Mindful feeding takes into account your baby’s sleep and feeding routine, baby cues, your intuition and the temperament of your baby.
Example:
Your baby has had a good feed, been on for 20 min, sucking well and swallowing. You know their tummy is full. But they wake, they are rooting, sucking and still not relaxing.
You re-feed to see if they are still hungry. Because of the sucking reflex and rooting reflex, your baby is affectively having another feed or topping up. This becomes a cycle, soon to be challenging.
This is why feeding should always be a partnership. Not just one way.
Your baby doesn’t know how regulate their feeding but you can. Not this does not mean feeding on schedule.
You should always be responsive and flexible.
However, there are some common misconceptions around this. While holding your baby for a long time, co-sleeping and bedsharing can be ways to create a strong connection with your baby, you can also adopt an attachment parenting style without these things.
Having your baby sleep in a different room and not wanting to bedshare, does not mean you are detached from your baby!
Bed sharing typically develops out of pure exhaustion in the early stages of a baby’s life as it can often be the only way parents can get some sleep themselves. This is a short-term solution that does not last long for many so actively choosing to move away from that does not mean you are becoming detached from your baby.
Developing positive sleep routines can lead to the improved overall well-being of babies and parents alike. To learn more about helping your baby to sleep, click here.
Attachment parenting is about connection.
Connecting with your baby while they are awake, cuddling them, playing with them on the playmat, and talking and singing to them are all ways to develop your unique bond with your baby.
Giving your baby the care that they need such as feeding, bathing, and skin-to-skin contact all lead to attachment parenting as you are developing a strong bond with your baby.
You can be connected with your baby, love and nurture your baby, and be emotionally in touch with your baby without needing to hold them and sleep with them all the time.
At the end of the day, you have got to do what works for you, 100%.
As always, I’d love to help in anyways I can, so please get in touch!
]]>Now, this does not have to mean that you have a baby that sleeps through the entire night. It just means you understand your baby’s sleep patterns such as knowing what time your baby’s nap times roughly are as well as when your baby wakes during the night.
If you have a snack feeder you are most likely to have a snack sleeper and vice versa. Snack feeders are babies who take multiple smaller meals throughout the day while snack sleepers are babies who take frequent, shorter naps during the day. Babies like this are also more likely to fall asleep during a feed.
Why does this happen?
As we all know, repetition forms habits, and this is no different. A baby’s tummy starts to form a ‘topping-up’ pattern instead of a ‘filling-up’ pattern.
When a baby has short frequent feeds their tummies are never empty. So instead of feeding to fill their empty tummy, they will feed to just top it up. Unfortunately, many of these babies are also likely to suffer from colic or reflux.
Because of the high frequency of feedings, they don’t have a lot of time between feeds to get enough quality sleep. The short naps they do take are often interrupted by the need to feed, and as a result, they become more and more reliant on regular feeds throughout the day in order to stay awake and alert.
What can you do?
You can change this in a few simple steps.
- Start learning to recognise your baby’s cues. Note them down so you can track it all can be very helpful too.
- Extend the gap between feeds. Using 15 minute increments until you get to at least 3 hours between them. This should teach your baby to sleep a little bit longer too.
- Have playtime incorporated into the awake time. Stimulate your baby to essentially tire them out so they get better quality sleep.
- Use this method to help create more sustainable routines. Feed – Play – Sleep – Repeat.
It is important to remember that when it comes to feeding and sleeping, there is no one-size-fits-all approach! So don’t get disheartened if something you try doesn’t work – just try something new!
Need help? Get in touch! I have lots of resources available for you and am always happy to answer any questions you might have.
]]>Heard of the advice:
“Feed whenever your baby cries!”
“Sucking must mean they are hungry!”
These are two myths that I will debunk for you.
Yes your baby cries when they are hungry but they also cry when they are tired, frustrated, overstimulated, gassy, in pain and need comforting.
Feeding every time your baby cries can lead to more challenges. These challenges can be over feeding, colic, reflux, tummy upsets and sleep deprivation for both you and baby.
Sucking is also a tool many new mums use to feed a baby.
But sucking isn’t controlled by hunger.
Your baby learns to suck in the womb at 32 weeks gestation. Many babies can suck on their hands or thumbs before they are even born.
Sucking is an involuntary action (reflex). This means your baby does not have control over when to suck to feed or to help settle.
The sucking is initiated by touch. The nipple, a finger, a dummy or pacifier or a teat from a bottle ate all tools that can initiate the sucking reflex. Sucking for hunger becomes more controlled and voluntary after the age of 8-12 weeks.
It’s very important to have knowledge about your baby’s feeding cues and to recognise that when your baby has been feeding well and they fall asleep they are satisfied. If and when you your baby cries after a feed, they are not necessarily hungry but may be tired, have gas or need comforting.
Babies will often tell you they are not hungry by pushing themselves away from you when trying to latch. Don’t force a baby to feed as this might work against you.
Get my Newborn guide – ebook to help you gain more knowledge.
Need help ? Get in touch😊
The definition of schedule is- a list of planned activities or things to be done at a particular time.
Routines associated with sleep are:
- Rocking
- Feeding
- Swaddling
- White noise
- Taking baby into bed after waking
- Reading a book before bed
- Massage
- Sleeping bag
- Using a dummy
Schedules are based only on time, such as:
- Bedtime
- Feeding times
- Time to start bathing
- Awake time
- Length of feeds
- Length of naps
Routines can create more flexibility. You have no time constraints.
If you have a routine it’s easier to visit friends, and family, go on holiday or have others look after your baby.
Routines create patterns and habits.
So it’s important to know that routines can work for or against you and may be very challenging. But seeing they are flexible can be altered to work in your best interest. If you are using a schedule, it will be harder to implement change.
They are often rigid, may be less flexible, and more prone to creating anxiety because of the time constraint you are placing yourself on.
This is why I steer away from many baby apps because they are based on schedules not routines. Want to know more about helping your baby sleep better, Ebook
Just remember safety comes first.
You may have the most amazing birth plan but the most important for you and your baby is to arrive into this world the safest way possible. If that means birth interventions, medications or making a trip into hospital for the delivery than so be it.
What you can control is the time with your baby postpartum.
I’m a big fan of postpartum plans because you are fully in control.
Minutes, hours, days and even weeks after the birth of your baby.
A postpartum plan can include:
- Discuss needs and wants for you and baby that are not necessities😉
- Cord clamping delay
- Skin to skin contact
- Feeding preferences
- Time spent in hospital
- Who can visit you in days and weeks ahead
- Support and guidance for you and baby
- Meals in hospital and at home. Snacks who wish to have or meals that support people can bring in.
- Sleep options ie co sleeping, bed sharing or baby in own room. Discuss pros and cons.
- Routine or going with the flow
Even things such as planning to go back, enjoying hobbies and sports that you wish to continue that can all be incorporated into a postpartum plan. You are able to control the time after the birth of your baby more than the birth itself. In fact you can include anything you wish into your plan.🥰
This is part of my support and guidance journey for moms with newborns. We start the postpartum planning around 36 weeks of pregnancy and keep updating and changing it when suits or when needed.
Engaging in a postpartum plan can eliminate common things like sleep deprivation, postnatal anxiety, colic and most of all postpartum depression.
Get in touch if you would like to learn more.
I would love to help you plan your postpartum time together.
While boundaries anytime in your life are of importance, as a expecting or new mom, they should be on top of your list.
So here are my top boundaries that you should be considering.
✅Physical
All your physical needs that are important are yo be met by you and others. Sleep! Hydration and Nutrition! Touch this includes sexual touch in your relationship. (Communication around this is very important)
✅Emotional
Support from someone you trust. Know who you can share you feelings with. Is it important for you to feel secure and confident which includes conversation and words of love and understanding. Who’s a good listener?
✅Family &Friends
This is very high on the list. Family and friends are very quick to offer support and advice that may not suit you or overstep your boundaries. Learn to be open and honest and also be able to say no and walk away. Visitors need boundaries.😉
✅Time
Your time is precious. Time for yourself is important. This takes practice. Write down how you would like up spend your time. Even before baby comes. Continuing a hobby, a sport, travel or spending time with friends can still be on the list. Follow through is important.
✅Non-Negotiable Boundaries!
This is where your safety and your baby’s safety is of up most importance. Physical and emotional abuse, drug and alcohol use, trust and honesty in a relationship.
Do not second guess yourself or think you deserve less.
Practice Practice and Practice these boundaries. Never feel afraid to set boundaries.
Boundaries will keep you safe and also sane especially when we talk about new mom boundaries.
What does an awake window look like for a newborn baby?
Babies form 0-6 weeks, their awake windows are 45-60 min – yes you read that right. It’s very short, hence why majority of babies fall asleep in your arms or babies are overtired because they’ve been up for too long.
So what happens in this short time frame!
The time starts when your baby comes out of bed. Many parents think it’s as soon as baby wakes but because babies also wake between sleep cycles, it’s important to allow your baby time to be awake in bed. This is why we start the awake window form the time you pick them up out of bed.
What happens in this short awake window?
Your baby will – Feed, Burp, Feed again, cuddle, nappy change, play and then it’s time to go back to bed.
Breastfed babies will often fill their tummy in the first 20 mins.
Anything after that is extra and can result in comfort feeding. Remember baby’s tummy is small. So if you have good lactation, good flow and your baby feeds well. It may not take 40 min of feeding to fill their tummy
.
Then it’s time to burp. Keep burping to around 10 min. You might need to do it between sides or at the end of the feed. One good burp is fine. I don’t believe you need to keep burping to get many out.
Then my suggestion is to place your baby on a play mat and leave them to explore for a few minutes. This is so important, not only for them but also for you. You can use this time to look after yourself and give your baby time too. During playtime it’s easier to recognise their tired signs. Now remember, their tired signs can be very confusing. They are the same for a hungry baby, tired, discomfort and also a frustrated baby. Once you are confident, you will feel more informed. If you recognise their tired signs, it’s time to tuck them back into bed.
This is a routine you can use during the day only.
It’s a game changer
Need help with creating routines or have challenges with feeding and sleep, get in touch.
]]>I would say around 60% of babies are 30 min nappers.
So, why is this so common?
Tools are being used to get baby to sleep. These are feeding, rocking and contact settling. if you are using tools to get baby to sleep, they will need those same tools to resettle when they wake form their sleep cycles. The way you help you baby to fall asleep will need to be repeated.
Overtired or under-tired! Know your baby’s wake windows for their age. It’s also very important to recognise your baby’s sleep cues early. if they take a long time to fall asleep then they may not have been ready.
Responding too early! When you hear your baby wake or you are watching a monitor, wait until you are needed. Babies can wake or rouse lots when transitioning between sleep cycles. If you respond too quickly you may interfere with self-resettling.
No nap routine! It is very important to create a consistent nap routine.
Sleep Environment! Make sure your baby’s sleep environment creates confidence and security plus is comfortable. Using blackout blinds may help some babies but not others. Are you using the same sleep attire such as a swaddle or sleep sac? Can your baby lie awake in their bed for a few minutes without crying? Do you use the same room for naps and for nighttime sleep?
These are things to think about.
Babies should be able to sleep for longer than 30 mins especially as they get older and they develop more. They will use more energy and need longer naps to reset.
Need help with a 30 min napper? Get in touch and let’s chat
]]>Babies thrive on consistency which creates routine, no matter what that looks like.
As they grow and develop, babies also become more aware of their surroundings. This means, it’s important, when it comes to sleep, to create an environment that they recognise and feel safe.
Let’s look at what this looks like.
✅ First babies thrive on routine and that can be different for each mom and baby. It’s important to know what works for you and if it’s sustainable.
If you are looking for a good sleep routine, then this post is for you.
✅ Bed and bedroom. Placing baby in bed, awake, in the same room for most of their day and night sleep creates confidence. It’s their safe space.
✅ Picture, paintings, images on walls close to where they fall asleep is a great idea, keeping safety in mind. These decorating pieces will be recognised by your baby, every time they are placed in bed awake. As they wake, they are still in the same environment.
✅ Swaddles or sleep sacks also helps with sleep. It’s important to only use these for sleep (naps and at night) especially for babies over the age of 6-8 weeks. Placing them in a sleeping bag just before sleep can help them know it’s bedtime.
✅ Cuddlees or age-appropriate sleep toys can also help your baby fall asleep easier. Some babies love having some kind security blanket or toy to help them sleep.
✅ Positive mindset – always important and I can’t emphasise this enough, especially for new mums. Believing in yourself, feeling confident and knowing what works for you can all help your baby with sleep confidence.
Do you have a confident sleeper?
An environment to help your baby become a confident and happy sleeper is very important and makes it so much easier to navigate your parenting journey.
😴 Your baby knows their bed whether it’s a bassinet or cot.
😴 They enjoy lying awake in their bed and can self-regulate and fall asleep when ready.
😴 You close the curtains after you have placed them in bed and say goodnight.
😴 Knows the difference from day and night sleeps.
😴 Bedtime is consistent.
😴 Good feeding routine.
😴 Wakes up happy from naps and in morning.
😴 Happily waits for you to come and get them out of bed.
It’s about being consistent and creating an environment for them to recognise and feel safe.
Do you need help with giving your baby sleep confidence? Get in touch and let’s chat
]]>